It’s About Faith…
A few years ago, I nearly died. I suffered a heart attack at home. I remember lying on the floor trying to catch my breath, wondering where the elephant came from that had wandered into the room and proceeded to sit on my chest.
When the police arrived, I was given oxygen and the elephant began to rise. The ambulance showed up a few minutes later and the paramedics proceeded to care for me. Now I must admit that this is something that gives one an entirely different perspective on things. I have always been the one to care for others. Now it was my turn to be cared for by others. Oddly enough, nothing drove that home more that laying in the back of an ambulance and watching things recede instead of coming closer.
I remember being in emergency with worried faces hovering about, rushing to and fro while people tended to me. Now here is the strange part for many people. I began cracking jokes and making people laugh. This may sound peculiar, but I was actually having a good time with these people. You may think it was probably the drugs they were giving me, but I don’t think so. You see, I was never frightened for a moment. Even when I was lying on the floor waiting for help, I wasn’t scared. I just wanted to feel better.
When they wheeled me into surgery, I was still fine. I would have watched the procedure if I could have, but the camera that peered into my chest was blocking my view. So I just dozed on and off while the doctor worked over me or should I say, inside of me. (Since he was poking around inside of my heart, I decided it was better not to try to make him laugh…)
While in surgery, I had an angioplasty and a stent inserted in my heart. (I like to tell people I’m bionic now.) When finished, I was moved to the cardiac intensive care unit or CICU where I was not allowed to do anything including lifting my head. This is a situation that made me uncomfortable. To be waited on and cared for is rather alien to me. There just wasn’t any choice in the matter, so I had to accept it. I was weaker than a kitten!
All this time, I still had chest pain or more accurately, a feeling of pressure on my chest. This feeling took about 18 hours to disappear. The best I can describe it is like the aftermath of a muscle cramp. So there I am, lying in bed chatting with my wife when I start feeling sick, dizzy and sweaty. She calls the nurse who checks on me. Next thing I know, I’m surrounded by people with my nurse telling my wife that she should leave.
Now I need to back up a bit. For those that are unfamiliar with an angioplasty, an incision is made in the femoral artery in the leg so that tube may be threaded up into the heart to look around and insert a stent, if needed. This incision receives a pressure bandage once the bleeding stops to keep it sealed until healing. In my case, the incision reopened and I was unaware that I was bleeding internally. I lost over a half gallon of blood before it was caught. So much blood that it was beginning to move my internal organs around! So much blood that they decided I needed a fast transfusion and I received a quart of blood within 20 minutes!
The heart attack turned out to be very minimal, according to the doctor, although nobody could know that at the time. And one might think that you can lose more blood than that without really being in danger. But the combination of the two placed me at great risk. It is why I say, I almost died.
After all of this, the difficulty in getting used to my medications, the required rehab therapy, etc…, I can say I have no permanent heart damage. (Most likely because I got help so quickly.) Any damage was temporary and my cardiologist tells me that my heart disease has not progressed since my attack!
A year after this episode, I had hernia surgery. Relatively minor compared to a heart attack, as you can imagine. Nothing to worry about. Some post operative pain. Back on my feet in a few weeks where as the heart attack took a few months of recovery.
So what is the point of my telling you all of this?? During the heart attack, I wasn’t afraid . Remember my mentioning that? I wasn’t scared, nervous, frightened or antsy. As I said before, I was having a good time. Probably the most fun I’d had in years! During the hernia surgery, guess what. I was nervous, antsy, not really scared but certainly not having a good time.
What was the difference? During the heart attack, I had my eyes on Jesus. While I was in surgery, two things crossed my mind. First, 51 years was a very short amount of time to live. Second, that I might not leave under my own power. And I told God that if this was my day to come home, my bags were packed and I was ready. But I also mentioned that I wasn’t quite ready to leave my wife just yet and to please keep that in mind. And I was at peace, free from the burden of worrying about this very real threat to my life.
During the run up to the hernia surgery, I was wondering about the pain, the procedure, the doctor, how I was going to take care of my family, my mother’s heart surgery that took place just a couple of weeks prior, would the summer be a waste like last year‘s and so on.
Do you see the difference? During the heart attack, eyes on God, no sweat! Hernia surgery, eyes everywhere BUT God, a lot of sweat!! Now you would think I should know better seeing as I’m a pastor and all. But I’m human just like everybody else. I falter, I fall to the same temptations, errors and sins as everyone else. The trick is getting your eyes back on Jesus and keeping them there. It’s not easy at times. But it is what we need to do.
I come across Christians that fear when they have to go to the doctor with a problem. Because of the hernia saga, I can have empathy for them. I understand what they are going through and I can feel what they are going through. And because of the heart attack, I know what we are supposed to do and can help guide them to refocusing their eyes to Jesus and way from their problems. And not by just spouting a few words of scripture and the riding off into the sunset saying, “My work is done here!”.
Many people think all they have to do is fire off a few verses and that should solve the problem. And if not, they blame the person who is suffering as though it’s their fault that a few words didn’t make everything better. But what does God really say?
James 2:15-17 “Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
Popping off a few words is not enough. We must tend to people’s needs. Faith must be active to be of value. Otherwise as James puts it, faith is dead. I am in the position to understand and feel what folks in life threatening positions are going through. Because I’ve been on both sides of the fence, I am in a position to help. Compassion, empathy and love all have a part to play in helping someone overcome their problems.
Maybe that is the reason I went through these two surgeries. One life threatening, the other not. Maybe it’s so I could see life on both sides and be able to judge better as to what someone needs and what they don’t. And maybe it was to give me opportunity to witness while I was in the hospital to others. And believe me, I took advantage of the captive audience, both in the ambulance and the hospital. What better chance could I have had than to lay in a hospital bed with my life in the balance and spend the time talking to and praying for others? I can only hope it was a powerful testimony!
1 John 4:15-17, “If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
Was my love made perfect that day and that was the reason I wasn‘t scared? I don’t know. Was my faith made stronger so I wouldn’t waiver? Again, I don’t know. I do know that the lack of fear had to do with my faith in Christ and that my love for Him contributed to my strength.
I know that one day in the future, I will not leave the hospital under my own steam. And I hope on that day, my faith will carry me through just as it did a few years ago. And I also pray that deeds will accompany that faith so that it is not dead but alive.
May our love be perfect to drive out all fear and may our faith be strong enough to trust God through all our trails.
In His name…
© Copyright Church of Hope, Inc. 2009
A few years ago, I nearly died. I suffered a heart attack at home. I remember lying on the floor trying to catch my breath, wondering where the elephant came from that had wandered into the room and proceeded to sit on my chest.
When the police arrived, I was given oxygen and the elephant began to rise. The ambulance showed up a few minutes later and the paramedics proceeded to care for me. Now I must admit that this is something that gives one an entirely different perspective on things. I have always been the one to care for others. Now it was my turn to be cared for by others. Oddly enough, nothing drove that home more that laying in the back of an ambulance and watching things recede instead of coming closer.
I remember being in emergency with worried faces hovering about, rushing to and fro while people tended to me. Now here is the strange part for many people. I began cracking jokes and making people laugh. This may sound peculiar, but I was actually having a good time with these people. You may think it was probably the drugs they were giving me, but I don’t think so. You see, I was never frightened for a moment. Even when I was lying on the floor waiting for help, I wasn’t scared. I just wanted to feel better.
When they wheeled me into surgery, I was still fine. I would have watched the procedure if I could have, but the camera that peered into my chest was blocking my view. So I just dozed on and off while the doctor worked over me or should I say, inside of me. (Since he was poking around inside of my heart, I decided it was better not to try to make him laugh…)
While in surgery, I had an angioplasty and a stent inserted in my heart. (I like to tell people I’m bionic now.) When finished, I was moved to the cardiac intensive care unit or CICU where I was not allowed to do anything including lifting my head. This is a situation that made me uncomfortable. To be waited on and cared for is rather alien to me. There just wasn’t any choice in the matter, so I had to accept it. I was weaker than a kitten!
All this time, I still had chest pain or more accurately, a feeling of pressure on my chest. This feeling took about 18 hours to disappear. The best I can describe it is like the aftermath of a muscle cramp. So there I am, lying in bed chatting with my wife when I start feeling sick, dizzy and sweaty. She calls the nurse who checks on me. Next thing I know, I’m surrounded by people with my nurse telling my wife that she should leave.
Now I need to back up a bit. For those that are unfamiliar with an angioplasty, an incision is made in the femoral artery in the leg so that tube may be threaded up into the heart to look around and insert a stent, if needed. This incision receives a pressure bandage once the bleeding stops to keep it sealed until healing. In my case, the incision reopened and I was unaware that I was bleeding internally. I lost over a half gallon of blood before it was caught. So much blood that it was beginning to move my internal organs around! So much blood that they decided I needed a fast transfusion and I received a quart of blood within 20 minutes!
The heart attack turned out to be very minimal, according to the doctor, although nobody could know that at the time. And one might think that you can lose more blood than that without really being in danger. But the combination of the two placed me at great risk. It is why I say, I almost died.
After all of this, the difficulty in getting used to my medications, the required rehab therapy, etc…, I can say I have no permanent heart damage. (Most likely because I got help so quickly.) Any damage was temporary and my cardiologist tells me that my heart disease has not progressed since my attack!
A year after this episode, I had hernia surgery. Relatively minor compared to a heart attack, as you can imagine. Nothing to worry about. Some post operative pain. Back on my feet in a few weeks where as the heart attack took a few months of recovery.
So what is the point of my telling you all of this?? During the heart attack, I wasn’t afraid . Remember my mentioning that? I wasn’t scared, nervous, frightened or antsy. As I said before, I was having a good time. Probably the most fun I’d had in years! During the hernia surgery, guess what. I was nervous, antsy, not really scared but certainly not having a good time.
What was the difference? During the heart attack, I had my eyes on Jesus. While I was in surgery, two things crossed my mind. First, 51 years was a very short amount of time to live. Second, that I might not leave under my own power. And I told God that if this was my day to come home, my bags were packed and I was ready. But I also mentioned that I wasn’t quite ready to leave my wife just yet and to please keep that in mind. And I was at peace, free from the burden of worrying about this very real threat to my life.
During the run up to the hernia surgery, I was wondering about the pain, the procedure, the doctor, how I was going to take care of my family, my mother’s heart surgery that took place just a couple of weeks prior, would the summer be a waste like last year‘s and so on.
Do you see the difference? During the heart attack, eyes on God, no sweat! Hernia surgery, eyes everywhere BUT God, a lot of sweat!! Now you would think I should know better seeing as I’m a pastor and all. But I’m human just like everybody else. I falter, I fall to the same temptations, errors and sins as everyone else. The trick is getting your eyes back on Jesus and keeping them there. It’s not easy at times. But it is what we need to do.
I come across Christians that fear when they have to go to the doctor with a problem. Because of the hernia saga, I can have empathy for them. I understand what they are going through and I can feel what they are going through. And because of the heart attack, I know what we are supposed to do and can help guide them to refocusing their eyes to Jesus and way from their problems. And not by just spouting a few words of scripture and the riding off into the sunset saying, “My work is done here!”.
Many people think all they have to do is fire off a few verses and that should solve the problem. And if not, they blame the person who is suffering as though it’s their fault that a few words didn’t make everything better. But what does God really say?
James 2:15-17 “Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
Popping off a few words is not enough. We must tend to people’s needs. Faith must be active to be of value. Otherwise as James puts it, faith is dead. I am in the position to understand and feel what folks in life threatening positions are going through. Because I’ve been on both sides of the fence, I am in a position to help. Compassion, empathy and love all have a part to play in helping someone overcome their problems.
Maybe that is the reason I went through these two surgeries. One life threatening, the other not. Maybe it’s so I could see life on both sides and be able to judge better as to what someone needs and what they don’t. And maybe it was to give me opportunity to witness while I was in the hospital to others. And believe me, I took advantage of the captive audience, both in the ambulance and the hospital. What better chance could I have had than to lay in a hospital bed with my life in the balance and spend the time talking to and praying for others? I can only hope it was a powerful testimony!
1 John 4:15-17, “If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
Was my love made perfect that day and that was the reason I wasn‘t scared? I don’t know. Was my faith made stronger so I wouldn’t waiver? Again, I don’t know. I do know that the lack of fear had to do with my faith in Christ and that my love for Him contributed to my strength.
I know that one day in the future, I will not leave the hospital under my own steam. And I hope on that day, my faith will carry me through just as it did a few years ago. And I also pray that deeds will accompany that faith so that it is not dead but alive.
May our love be perfect to drive out all fear and may our faith be strong enough to trust God through all our trails.
In His name…
© Copyright Church of Hope, Inc. 2009